falling apart

it's halloween, and as usual i'm stuck at my house. Exactly one year ago, while i was mad because i wouldn't do anything for halloween, one of my now best friends told me this year we would do something for sure. That didn't happend

days like these (and they are a majority) make me think. i've realized i dont have the life i want, these past days i've been trying to convince myself that there is a chance my parents will change, that they will accept me for who i am and that i will be able to live in my home being just who i am. that wont happend

lately, i feel like i'm falling apart. like everything is just not rigth, the things i treasured most all year long are dying...fading away. my best friend is leaving for ever, i knew this would happen but the day is almost here and i'm not sure i'm ready... friends are THE most important thing in my life, my mom doesn't seem to understand that, i know she and my dad both hate my friends, i couldn't care less, they're the only thing in my life that's worth living for. I got used to seing them almost every day, but that is over now and i miss them. On top of that, i fell like im drifting away from one of my best friends, he's just gone... i know that's what he does, he's a quitter and i wish there was something i could do to change that.

I need to get out of here before it's too late, my biggest fear is to look back and regret my life, regret the fact that i wasted my life away... i need to get out of here, and i'll do everything in my power to make that happen. I live only for the hope that the best is yet to come, it has to.

caras vemos...corazones no sabemos

or something like that...

im worried, and i dont know how to help her